All Sports 21

The Government of Slovenia is harrassing a 4-year-old girl

2011-04-17T14:10:00.000+02:00

In July 2010 I filed a charge against several doctors, who deliberately malign my dother (born 2006). She is completely healthy, despite this she has to have unneccessary visits at several doctors. Those doctors are controlled by dr. RB, an employee of UKC Ljubljana, and severe mental patient.

All doctor reports regarding my dother were concluded as negative (this is, no autism or anything other that would be wrong).

Another question is, how could one mental patient became a doctor in public hospital. Entire public health system is under control of Slovenian government. This doctor is otherwise my dother's relative, by her mother's side.

On July 31st 2010 there was police intervention, followed by interrogation on August 23rd,
however they do not seem concerned about child's safety. Instead they issued several threats and insults against me, and then they refused to investigate the case.

On March 23rd 2011, I received a doctor report about "identified autism". This report was filed by dr. MML (wife of one of the ministers in the government). MML is a cousin of RB.

The report from 2011 is completely different from her last report from late 2009, where no sign of autism was identified. Autism was simply made up by RB, then ordered to other doctors to confirm it.

My dother has a rich heritage by her mother's side, so relatives by her mother's side are pressing to seize it, with full and willing help by Slovenian government.

Dother's kindergarten also filed fake report, claiming that our girl is "not social" which is not true and we can prove it is not true. Kindergartens and schools in Slovenia are domain of government, where husband of MML works.

We are ignored by local police, which is afraid to help us. They are afraid of B family, because this family is a relative to government minister. This family is forcing my 4-year-old girl into starvation, isolation, presence of agressive dog, planned physical and psychical torcher, and possible sexual abuse.

Everything is going on with full acknowledgement of government and all other institutions in the country.

Please help my dother.

I urge all governments of the World, to close their embassies in Slovenia. Also you need to expell all Slovenian diplomats from your country. Ban all import/export related to Slovenia. If you are running a business in Slovenia, please close it to put pressure on local economy. If you plan trip to Slovenia, please cancel it. Child torcher here is abnormal and has to be quit by entire human society.

Garmisch-Partenkirchen Feb 17th 2011

2011-02-22T13:28:00.002+01:00

Tina Maze becomes the World Champion, winning the giant slalom race, for the sake of only 9/100 of a second!

full article

Garmisch-Partenkirchen Feb 8th 2011

2011-02-09T15:14:00.001+01:00

Tina Maze finishes as 11th on Super G, while the winner was Elisabeth Görgl (Austria)

source: SIOL

Tina Maze Gallery 3

2011-01-28T13:22:00.002+01:00

Tina Maze Gallery 2

2010-09-02T11:06:00.002+02:00

Ex-Olympic champ jailed for knife attack

2010-08-28T17:37:00.002+02:00

Former Finland's Olympic ski jumping champion Matti Nykanen (won four Olympic gold medals) has been sentenced to 16 months in jail for attacking his wife with a knife in December 2009, Finnish court ruled...

source: Eurosport

66 catches of 7 rings

2009-01-04T13:28:00.000+01:00

not a typical sport video, but still worth watching...

Wood and Indians finalize 2-year deal

2008-12-13T18:49:00.001+01:00

Kerry Wood is the Cleveland Indians' new closer. The former Chicago Cubs star finalized a $20.5 million, two-year contract Saturday, a deal that includes a 2011 option that could become guaranteed...

read full story

Ice Fishing

2008-11-18T14:22:00.000+01:00

A guy gets up really early in the morning to go ice fishing. He goes out onto the ice with his tent, his pick and his fishing rod, and starts to pick at the ice. Then he hears a big booming voice: "THERE'S NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"

The guy looks around and then starts to pick at the ice again. Then he hears the voice again: "THERE'S NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"

Now the guy is getting a little edgy. He looks up, "God, is that you?"

There is no answer, so he starts picking again. "THERE'S NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!"

Then the guy yells "God! is that you?"

"NO, IT'S THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK!!"

Successful Ice Fishing

2008-11-18T14:21:00.000+01:00

Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all, while the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secret is.

"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm," is the reply.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm," the successful fisherman repeats.

"I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you." The man spits something into his hand and says very clearly,

"You've got to keep your worms warm."

Late For Sunday School

2008-11-18T14:20:00.000+01:00

A young boy came to Sunday School late.

His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong.

The boy replied no, that he was going fishing but his dad told him that he needed to go to church.

The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his dad had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing?

The boy replied, "Yes he did. Dad said he didn't have enough bait for both of us."

Mexican Fisherman

2008-11-18T14:17:00.001+01:00

The American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, "Only a little while."

The American then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?"

The Mexican said, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs."

The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat: With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor; eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York where you will run your ever-expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?"

To which the American replied, "15 to 20 years."

"But what then?" asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions?...Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

Three blondes fishing

2008-11-18T14:16:00.001+01:00

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any." replied the first blonde.

"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden.

"But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the third blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river?!"

Shaq ejected, but Suns beat Pistons

2008-11-17T14:54:00.000+01:00

Amare Stoudemire had 29 points and 11 rebounds on his 26th birthday and the Phoenix Suns overcame Shaquille O'Neal's second-quarter ejection to beat the Detroit Pistons 104-86 on Sunday night...

read full story at mail.com

You won't see a throw like that again

2008-11-15T15:50:00.001+01:00

A rookie sat next to his manager and watched Roger Maris gun down a runner trying to go from first to third.

"Kid, you won't see a throw like that again in a million years."

Three innings later, Maris duplicated the feat.

The rookie turned to the manager and said, "Time sure flies up here in the Majors."

Detroit is building a new stadium

2008-11-15T15:48:00.000+01:00

Did you hear? Detroit is building a new stadium but it is keeping its location hidden from the public.

Yeah, they're afraid the Tigers will find out where it is and try to play there.

Ski Jumping Trainings Begin

2008-11-13T14:55:00.002+01:00

... in Lillehammer, Norway. Poland team is already there and Slovenian team on the way, and after them all other ski jumping teams, for the first ski jumping trainings in the new season...

full article (SLO language)

Why not combine the designated driver

2008-10-30T15:28:00.000+01:00

Here's an idea.

Why not combine the designated driver and the designated hitter, so that after the 7th inning the designated hitter drives all the drunk fans home.

Two elderly pinch-hitters

2008-10-30T15:27:00.000+01:00

Asked the age of his two elderly pinch-hitters - Vic Davalillo and Manny Mota - Los Angeles manager Tommy Lasorda shrugged.

"I don't know but somebody told me they were waiters at the last supper."

Missed first base

2008-10-30T15:25:00.000+01:00

On June 17, 1962, in a game between the Mets and the Cubs at the Polo Grounds,
"Marvelous" Marv Thronberry slammed a two-run triple. But while he was catching his breath on third base, Chicago firstbaseman Ernie Banks called for the ball and appealed that Marv had missed first base. The appeal was upheld and he was called out. Mets manager Casey Stengel ran out from the dugout to argue the call until umpire Dusty Boggess said, "Forget it, Casey. He didn't touch second either!"

Edwards wins at Atlanta Motor Speedway

2008-10-27T12:24:00.000+01:00

Carl Edwards passed Denny Hamlin on a late restart, then held on to win Sunday at Atlanta Motor Speedway to keep his championship hopes alive...

full story

Don't let them hit the ball to me

2008-10-26T14:14:00.000+01:00

Los Angeles third baseman Pedro Guerrero committed several hard-to-believe fielding errors during one game. This was during the same time that Dodgers' second baseman Steve Sax was undergoing his horrendous and well-publicized fielding slump in which he couldn't throw the most routine ball to first without trouble.

In the post-game meeting, Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda was at a loss with Guerrero. "What are you thinking out there," Lasorda asked.

"Two things," Guerrero said.

"What's the first thing?"

"God, don't let them hit the ball to me."

"And what's the other thing," Lasorda said.

"Don't let them hit the ball to (Steve) Sax."

12-year-old Jeff Maier reached out and caught

2008-10-26T14:13:00.000+01:00

12-year-old Jeff Maier reached out and caught a fly ball at the Yankees-Orioles game, causing Baltimore to lose the first game of the playoffs.

This means that Maier has already caught more fly balls than the entire Mets outfield...

Eddie's got it

2008-10-26T14:12:00.000+01:00

Pitcher Bill Werle got Bill Nicholson to hit a high infield popup in front of the mound. As trained, he called for an infielder to make the play. "Eddie's got it! Eddie's got it!," he yelled.

Then, he watched the ball fall untouched as catcher Eddie Fitzgerald, first baseman Eddie Stevens and third baseman Eddie Bockman looked on.

Anyone who interferes with the ball

2008-10-26T14:10:00.001+01:00

Pittsburgh infielder Gene Freese recalled a day when first baseman Dick Stuart, nicknamed Dr. Strangeglove, had a particularly trying day. Stuart had missed the first three grounders that came his way, but perfectly speared the fourth. However, in his haste to wave off the pitcher, he slung the ball down the right-field line.

"We'd have had the guy at third," Freese said, "But I was laughing too hard."

Pirates manager Danny Murtaugh couldn't resist a jab at Dick Stuart. After the public address announcer warned fans that "Anyone who interferes with the ball in play will be ejected from the ballpark,"

Murtaugh replied, "I hope Stuart doesn't think that means him."

Dog Who Played Baseball

2008-10-26T14:08:00.000+01:00

During the local match, a spectator was surprised to see a dog walk onto the pitch and start pitching, eventually striking out the other all star team, and scoring two home runs.

"That's incredible!" he exclaimed to the man next to him.

"Yes," he said, "but he's a terrible disappointment to his parents. They wanted him to be a footballer."

A young lady arrived at her first ballgame

2008-10-26T14:07:00.002+01:00

A young lady arrived at her first ballgame during the 5th inning. "The score is 0 to 0," she heard a nearby fan say. "Oh, good," she cooed to her boyfriend, "then we haven't missed a thing."

No Hitter

2008-10-26T14:07:00.001+01:00

On July 15, 1973, the Angels' Nolan Ryan pitches his second career no-hitter (and his second of the season), a 6-0 shutout versus the Tigers in Detroit, with a major league record seventeen strikeouts in a no-hitter.

The "Ryan Express" was so on that day, Norm Cash came to the plate with two
outs in the ninth inning and resorts to using a piano leg to get a hit. Home plate
umpire Ron Luciano, nearly falling down laughing at this ruse, makes him use
a real bat. Cash flied out to left-field, ending the game.

Compare Teams

2008-10-26T14:06:00.000+01:00

Former manager Alvin Dark was asked to compare teams he managed over the years.

"With the A's we depended upon pitching and speed to win. With the Giants we depended upon pitching and power to win. With the Indians we depended upon an act of God."

Federer struggles into Basel last eight

2008-10-24T13:07:00.001+02:00

Two-time defending champion Roger Federer endured a shaky first set before defeating Finland's Jarkko Nieminen 7-6 7-6 to reach the Swiss Indoors quarterfinals on Thursday...

more

In Texas in the 1960s

2008-10-23T14:18:00.000+02:00

In Texas in the 1960s college basketball teams had been integrated, but there was an "informal rule" that you never played more than one black player at home, two on the road or three if you were behind. After Texas Western won the 1966 NCAA championship with an all-black team on the court, defeating an all-white Kentucky team coached by the legendary Adolph Rupp, the rules were rewritten.

Roger Ebert, from his review of "Glory Road"

The strong

2008-10-23T14:17:00.000+02:00

The strong take from the weak and the smart take from the strong.

Pete Carril, former Princeton basketball coach

Stupid

2008-10-23T14:16:00.000+02:00

We’re not giving away any football players who could hurt us later. I don’t mind people thinking I’m stupid, but I don’t want to give them any proof.

Bum Phillips, Houston Oilers coach

The secret

2008-10-23T14:15:00.000+02:00

The secret of winning football games is working more as a team, less as individuals. I play not my 11 best, but my best 11.

Knute Rockne, American football coach

Integrity and fair dealing

2008-10-23T14:13:00.001+02:00

"There was a time when the National League stood for integrity and fair dealing. Today it stands for dollars and cents. Once it looked to the elevation of the game and an honest exhibition of the sport. Today its eyes are on the turnstile. Players have been bought, sold, and exchanged as though they were sheep instead of American citizens."

John Montgomery Ward, creator of the baseball Player's League (1889)

One Amendment

2008-10-23T14:12:00.000+02:00

"I have to offer only one amendment. In that place where the detective reports me as taking a lemonade at 3am, he's off. It was straight whiskey. I never drank a lemonade at that hour in my life. "

'King' Kelly, spotted in a saloon at 3am by club detectives

Children

2008-10-23T14:11:00.000+02:00

"It says, I think, that at root that we're children, or we'd like to be. And the best of us each keep as much of that childhood with us as we grow into adulthood, as we can muster... And even after we're past the point of being able to play the game with any skill, if we love it, then it's like Peter Pan - we remain boys forever, we don't die."

John Thorn, on Ken Burns's "Baseball"

Little Boy

2008-10-23T14:09:00.000+02:00

You gotta be a man to play baseball for a living, but you gotta have a lot of little boy in you, too.

Roy Campanella

The Only Thing

2008-10-23T14:08:00.000+02:00

"Winning isn't everything. It's the only thing."

Henry Sanders (popularized by Vince Lombardi)

Women of Parkour

2008-10-21T13:58:00.001+02:00

Most parkour practitioners are men, but now women are joining the game...

What is the difference between Mel Rojas and UPS?

2008-10-20T14:32:00.000+02:00

What is the difference between Mel Rojas and UPS?

UPS knows how to throw a strike.

Take Your Daughter to Work Day

2008-10-20T14:31:00.002+02:00

The other day was take your daughter to work day. The Cubs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their daughters.

Unfortunately they lost, 15-3.

Oakland Athletics are 32-0

2008-10-20T14:31:00.001+02:00

According to the Chicago Tribune, the following statistic was given in the press notes for the June 7 Chicago-Oakland game:

The Oakland Athletics are 32-0 in games in which they have scored more runs than their opponents.

Spring training is very important

2008-10-20T14:27:00.000+02:00

Spring training is very important.

It gives all the Dominican players time to learn how to say "renegotiate" in English.

He can't hit my fastball

2008-10-20T14:26:00.000+02:00

Before a series, St. Louis manager Frankie Frisch instructed his pitching staff to avoid throwing Brooklyn's Tony Cuccinello a fastball.

Dizzy Dean objected. "He can't hit my fastball."

He begged Frisch to let him throw Cuccinello a fastball. Frisch refused. Finally with the game in hand, he relented. Dean threw Cuccinello a fastball. Cuccinello hit it out of the park.

Dean turned to Frisch. "By gosh, Frankie. You were right for once."

The Englishman comes to bat

2008-10-20T14:25:00.000+02:00

A small social club was trying to organize a baseball team. They could only
muster eight players, but were hard put to find a ninth. In desperation, they called on a new member, an Englishman, to join their team.

During their first game, the Englishman came to bat. On the first pitch, he
knocked the ball out of the park.

"Run!" his teammates cried. "For Pete's sake, run!"

The Brit turned and stared at them icily. "I jolly well shan't run," he
replied. "Why should I? I'm perfectly willing to buy you chaps another ball."

Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

2008-10-20T14:24:00.000+02:00

The Cleveland Symphony Orchestra was rehearsing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. There is an extensive section where the bass players don't play for twenty minutes of so. One of them decided that, rather than stand around on stage looking bored and stupid, they'd all just file offstage during their tacit-time and hang out backstage, then return when they were about to play. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

On the night of the performance, the bass players filed off as planned. The last one had barely left the stage when the leader suggested, "Hey we've got twenty minutes, let's fun across the street to the bar for a few!"

This idea was met with great approval, so off they went, tuxedos and all, to loosen up. Fifteen minutes and a few rounds later, one of the bass players said, "Shouldn't we be heading back? It's almost time."

But the leader announced, "Oh don't worry, we'll have some extra time - I played a little joke on the conductor. Before the performance started, I tied string around each page of his score so that he'd have to untie each page to turn it. The piece will drag on a bit. We've got time for another round!"

So another round they did, and finally - sloshed and staggering - they made their way back across the street to finish Ludwig's 9th.

Upon entering the stage, they immediately noticed the conductor's haggard, drawn and livid expression.

"Gee," one player queried, "Why do you suppose he looks so tense?"

"You'd be tense, too," laughed the leader. "It's the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied and the basses are loaded."

Little League Conference

2008-10-20T14:23:00.000+02:00

Coach Jones called the young lad in from center field during a Little League game for a conference.

"See here Larry," said the coach, "you know the principles of good sportsmanship that the Little League practices. You also know we don't tolerate temper tantrums, shouting at the umpire, or abusive language. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir," replied Larry.

"Well, then Larry," sighed Coach Jones, "would you please try to explain it to your mother?"

Blackhawks fire coach Denis Savard after 4 games

2008-10-17T13:42:00.000+02:00

Denis Savard's plan was to improve on what the young Chicago Blackhawks accomplished last season and make a push for the playoffs. He won't get that chance. After only four games and just hours after the team's first victory of the season, he was fired as coach...

full story

Interested?

2008-10-16T11:50:00.000+02:00

"Aren't you interested in football?"

"Only from an anthropological point of view."

Danny, observing a rugby match in "Flirting"

Not Win

2008-10-16T11:49:00.000+02:00

"They may not win, but they lose beautifully."

Jake, racing boat designer in "Must Love Dogs"

Time

2008-10-16T11:48:00.000+02:00

"We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time."

Vince Lombardi

Practice

2008-10-16T11:47:00.000+02:00

The harder I practice, the luckier I get.

Gary Player

Luck

2008-10-13T14:01:00.001+02:00

Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck.

Don Schula, Miami Dolphins Football Coach, 1994

Players and Teams

2008-10-13T14:00:00.001+02:00

Players win games, teams win championships.

Bill Taylor

Struggle

2008-10-13T13:58:00.000+02:00

What counts in sports is not the victory, but the magnificence of the struggle.

Joe Paterno

Magic Johnson critical of hosts after AIDS remarks

2008-10-11T13:42:00.002+02:00

Magic Johnson criticized a pair of talk show hosts Friday for accusing him of faking AIDS but said he didn't want them to be fired...

read full story

PINCH FLAT NEWS

2008-10-09T16:57:00.000+02:00

One nice cycling blog. Check it out!

Two boys are playing hockey

2008-10-08T19:15:00.000+02:00

Two boys are playing hockey on an inlet on a pond in suburban Chicago when one is attacker by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick and wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who is strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to the boy. "Young White Sox Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Sox fan," the little hero replied.

"Sorry, since we are in Chicago, I just assumed you were," said the reporter, and he began writing again.

"Cubs Fan Rescues Friends from Horrific Attack," he continued writing in his notebook.

"I'm not a Cubs fan either," the boy said.

"I assumed everyone in Chicago was either for the Cubs or the Sox. What team do you root for?" inquired the reporter. "I'm a Yankees fan," the child responded.

The reporter turned the page in his notebook and wrote "Little Brat from New York Kills Beloved Family Pet."

Misquoted

2008-10-08T19:14:00.000+02:00

After being snubbed from the All-Star game by Boston manager Darrell Johnson, Baltimore's Jim Palmer claimed he was misquoted for calling Johnson an idiot.

"I did not call Johnson an idiot. Someone else did and I just agreed," Palmer said.

A Polak wanted to join an amateur baseball team...

2008-10-08T19:13:00.000+02:00

A Polak wanted to join an amateur baseball team. The coach looked him over and decided to give him a chance.

"I will give you three questions," said the coach. "If you come back in a week and answer them all correctly, you're on the
team."

"Fair enough!" said the Polak eagerly.

The coach proceeded, "Here are your questions. First, how many days are there in a week that start with the letter 'T'? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? And third, how many d's are there in 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?'"

Next week, the Polak came back, feeling all confident that he knew the right answers. So again the coach said, "So how many days in the week that start with 'T'?"

The Polak said, "Two!"

"Very good!" said the coach. And what are they?"

"Today and Tomorrow!"

"Hmm... OK," said the coach. "How many seconds are there in a year?"

"Twelve!"

"Twelve? How did you come up with twelve?" The coach was perplexed.

"Well," said the Polak, "there's the second of January, the second of February, the second of..."

"Um.. OK," broke in the coach. "How many d's in 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?'"

"Oh, that is easy!" laughed the Polak. "Three hundred and sixty-five!"

"WHAT?" cried the coach. "How did you get that figure?"

To which the Polak sang, "dee dee dee-dee-dee dee-dee...."

Why did the baseball player take his bat ...

2008-10-08T19:12:00.000+02:00

Q: Why did the baseball player take his bat to the library?

A: Because his teacher told him to hit the books!

What is the difference between Yankee fans ...

2008-10-07T11:32:00.000+02:00

What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?

One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.

A rookie pitcher

2008-10-07T11:31:00.000+02:00

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game."

"When is that?"

"Right after the National Anthem."

A conceited new rookie

2008-10-07T11:30:00.001+02:00

A conceited new rookie was pitching his first game. He walked the first five men he faced and the manager took him out of the game. The rookie slammed his glove on the ground as he yelled, "Darn it, the jerk took me out when I had a no-hitter going."

Yogi Berra's Catch

2008-10-07T11:29:00.000+02:00

A couple of Yogi Berra's teammates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him. Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him. He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.

Future Baseball Star

2008-10-07T11:28:00.000+02:00

A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announced.

Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed.

"Strike One!" he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again,

"I'm the greatest hitter in the world!"

He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he swung again and missed.

"Strike Two!" he cried.

The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully.

He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more,

"I'm the greatest hitter in the world!"

Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed.

"Strike Three!"

"Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world.

What takes longer, running from first base?

2008-10-07T11:27:00.001+02:00

What takes longer, running from first base to second, or from second to third?

Second to third, because you have to go through a shortstop.

Why did the baseball player go to jail?

2008-10-07T11:26:00.000+02:00

Q: Why did the baseball player go to jail?

A: Because he was caught trying to steal 2nd base!

Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game

2008-10-07T11:25:00.000+02:00

A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring run....run! The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run, r-run will ya!" A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run, r-r-run will ya!" The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up yelling "R-r-run, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused.

A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whisper, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls."

After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!!"

New England Temperature Conversion Chart

2008-10-07T11:23:00.001+02:00

60 F:
Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in New England sunbathe.

50 F:
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
People in New England plant gardens.

40 F:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in New England drive with the windows down.

32 F:
Distilled water freezes.
Maine's Moose head Lake's water gets thicker.

20 F:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.

15 F:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0 F:
All the people in Miami die.
New Englanders close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
People in New England get out their winter coats.

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
New Englanders get frustrated because they can't start their "kahs."

460 below zero:
All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale).
People in New England start saying, "cold 'nuff for ya?"!

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
The Red Sox win the World Series!

If I could hit the ball that way ...

2008-10-04T13:16:00.001+02:00

Bob Gibson, known for his sarcastic wit, caught teammate Curt Flood off guard with a rare compliment as Gibson watched him take batting practice."Way to hit the ball, roomie. If I could hit the ball that way, I'd take off my toeplate and retire from pitching," Gibson said.

Flood smiled.

"In fact, roomie,'' Gibson continued, "If I hit the way you do, I think I'd also retire from baseball."

Why does it get hot after baseball game?

2008-10-04T13:15:00.000+02:00

Q: Why does it get hot after baseball game?

A: Because all the fans leave!

Fate of O.J. Simpson rests with Las Vegas jury

2008-10-03T13:30:00.001+02:00

The ex-footballer, O.J. Simpson's fate, is in the hands of nine women and three men in a Nevada court...

full story

Character

2008-09-30T16:04:00.001+02:00

Sports do not build character. They reveal it.

- Haywood Hale Broun

The race

2008-09-30T16:03:00.000+02:00

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that’s the way to bet.

- Damon Runyon

The Sporting Spirit

2008-09-30T16:01:00.000+02:00

I am always amazed when I hear people saying that sport creates goodwill between nations, and that if only the common peoples of the world could meet one another at football or cricket, they would have no inclination to meet on the battlefield. Even if they didn't know from concrete examples (the 1936 Olympics, for instance) that international sporting contests lead to orgies of hatred, one could deduce it from general principles... At the international level sport is frankly mimic warfare.

- George Orwell, "The Sporting Spirit"

Kranjska Gora - Gallery

2008-09-28T16:59:00.001+02:00

few photos from skiing centre Kranjska Gora

Ex-Bear Benson won't face charges for arrests

2008-09-26T14:50:00.000+02:00

Former Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson won't face charges for two alcohol-related arrests earlier this year, officials said Thursday...

full story

LT finally finds end zone as Bolts beat Jets 48-29

2008-09-23T12:59:00.000+02:00

Philip Rivers, LaDainian Tomlinson and the rest of the San Diego Chargers simply left no doubt. Frustrated by two gut-wrenching losses, the Chargers raced past nemesis Brett Favre and the New York Jets for a 48-29 victory Monday night in a wild game befitting two original AFL teams...

read more

Euro Cup Soccer 2008

2008-09-20T12:04:00.000+02:00

Euro Cup Soccer 2008

Take your team to the finals of the Euro Cup!

Play this free game now!!

Milloy welcomes teammates' support after arrest

2008-09-18T11:27:00.001+02:00

Lawyer Milloy said Wednesday he was glad to be with his teammates for the Atlanta Falcons' first practice since his DUI arrest early Monday...

read more

Bragging about their Children

2008-09-16T12:06:00.001+02:00

Three women were sitting around and bragging about their children. The first one says, "You know, my son graduated first in his class from Stanford. He's now a doctor, making $250,000 a year in Chicago."

The second woman says, "You know my son graduated first in his class from Harvard. He's now a lawyer, making half a million dollars a year and lives in Los Angeles."

The last woman says, "You know my son; he never did too well in school. He never went to any university, but he now makes one million dollars a year in New York working as a sports repairman."

The other two women ask, "What is a sports repairman?"

The woman then replies, "Oh, he fixes games... you know, hockey games, football games, baseball games...."

Finding Her Place

2008-09-16T12:05:00.000+02:00

On her way back from the concession stand, Julie asked a man at the end of the row, "Pardon me, but did I step on your foot a few minutes ago?"

Expecting an apology, the man said, "Indeed you did."

Julie nodded, and noted, "Oh good. Then this is my row."

Olympic Village

2008-09-16T12:03:00.001+02:00

Three guys were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in."

Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, "Angus MacPherson. Scotland. Shotput." He opens his gym bag to display a shotput to the registration attendant.

The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here is your packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information."

The first guy gets inspired and grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs and roots, walks up the registration table and states: "Chuck Wagon. Canada. Javelin."

The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!"

The second guy grabs a street utility manhole cover, walks up to the registration table and states: "Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus."

The attendant says, "Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself."

They scamper in, but suddenly realize the third guy is missing. They groan, because he's a simpleton from the hills of Vermont. They forgot to make sure he doesn't do something stupid and blow their cover stories.

Just then he walks proudly up to the table with a roll of barbed wire under his arm and states: "Foster Bean. Hardwick, Vermont. Fencing."

Taking the final exam

2008-09-16T12:02:00.001+02:00

Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank.

The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a ________."

Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.

Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. "Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?"

Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed then he turned to Bubba. "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM."

"Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now."

He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?"

"You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."

The wisdom of the soccer player

2008-09-12T14:08:00.001+02:00

"My parents have been there for me. Ever since I was about seven.' DAVID BECKHAM

"I would not be bothered if we lost every game, as long as we won the league.' MARK VIDUKA

"We lost because we didn't win." RONALDO

"I've had 14 bookings this season - eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable." PAUL GASCOIGNE

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona." MICK DRAPER

"It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked."

"Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match."

"Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough."

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel." STEWART PEARCE

"I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country." IAN RUSH

"Germany are a difficult team to play... they had 11 internationals out there today."

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." ALAN SHEARER

"Sometimes in football you have to score goats." THIERRY HENRY

"Winning doesn't realty matter as long as you win." VINNY JONES

"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level." DAVID BECKHAM

Stupid Things Actually Said By Soccer Commentators

2008-09-12T14:05:00.001+02:00

1. Well, it's Liverpool two, Ipswich nil, and if the score stays this way, I've got to fancy Liverpool for the win.

2. He had an eternity to play that ball, but took too long.

3. And so they have not been able to improve on their 100% record.

4. With the last kick of the game, he scored with a header.

5. Well, it's a fabulous kaleidoscope of colour: almost all the Brazilians are wearing yellow shirts.

6. If that had gone on, it would definitely have been a goal.

7. Their manager, Howard Wilkinson, isn't here today, which strongly suggests that he may be elsewhere.

8. I am a firm believer that if one team scores a goal, the other need to score two to win.

9. If a team scores early on, it often takes an early lead.

10. You cannot possibly have counted the number of passes made, but there were eight.

Toronto

2008-09-12T14:04:00.001+02:00

A man was strolling along the Beaches area in East Toronto when he spotted a bottle floating in Lake Ontario. The bottle drifted ashore. He picked up the bottle and opened it, and out popped a Genie. "Master, you have released me from my bondage in this bottle, ask any three wishes and I will grant them to you."

The man thought for a moment and said, "I would like the following three things to happen this year -- The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup, the Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series and The Toronto Raptors win the NBA title."

The Genie thought about this for a moment and jumped back into the bottle.

Sports Commentator Bloopers

2008-09-12T14:00:00.001+02:00

1. Grand Prix Race Announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back."

2. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

3. Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious."

4. Baseball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

5. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

Jogging Shoes

2008-09-12T13:59:00.000+02:00

Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. "What's this little pocket thing here on the side for?" "Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you've jogged too far."

Pregnant woman claims NFLer arranged assault

2008-08-28T13:25:00.000+02:00

A pregnant woman has sued Jacksonville Jaguars receiver Dennis Northcutt, saying he arranged for his cousin to beat her up...

read more

Federer leans on US Open success after tough year

2008-08-25T12:53:00.000+02:00

His Wimbledon reign and No. 1 ranking surrendered, Roger Federer has one trump card left in his competition with Rafael Nadal: four straight U.S. Open titles...

read more

Ski Trip

2008-08-25T12:49:00.000+02:00

Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling: moments later a sheet of snow came crashing toward him.

Fortunately, Mr. Jacobson was able to jump into a cave just before the avalanche hit. Just as fortunately, he had matches with him and was able to light a fire.

Hours later, when everyone but Mr. Jacobson had returned, a rescue team was sent to search for him.

After several hours they saw smoke curling from the cave and went to investigate.

Poking his head into the entrance, one of the rescuers yelled, "Mr. Jacobson, are you there? It's the Red Cross."

Bristling, the harried executive called back, "Get lost. I gave at the office!"

Murphy's Laws of Martial Arts

2008-08-25T12:47:00.000+02:00

The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him.

The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.

You will have trouble with the ties on your dobok pants when members of the opposite sex are in class.

The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the instructor will be sick.

The instructor will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.

If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.

After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.

After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.

In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours.

No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn.

The Faster you are

2008-08-25T12:46:00.000+02:00

Tom P., the Olympic Gold Medal runner, was on his way to a club with some friends.

At the door, the bouncer turned to him and said "Sorry, mate, you can't come in here - no denim."

Tom was quite annoyed at this and retorted, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Tom P."

"Then it won't take you long to run home and change, will it?" replied the bouncer.

The Races

2008-08-25T12:43:00.001+02:00

Mitch, a hard-shell Southern Baptist, loved to sneak away to the race track. One day he was there betting on the ponies and nearly losing his shirt when he noticed this priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, this horse - a very long shot - won the race.

Mitch was most interested to see what the priest did the next race. Sure enough, he watched the priest step out onto the track as the 5th race horses lined up, and placed this blessing on the forehead of one of the horses. Mitch made a beeline for the window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race. Mitch collected his winning and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest bestowed his blessing on for the 6th race.

The priest showed, blessed a horse, Mitch bet on it, and it won! Mitch was elated! As the day went on, the priest continued blessing one of the horses, and it always came in first. Mitch began to pull in some serious money, and by the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick stop at the ATM, withdrew big money and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.

True to his pattern, the priest stepped out onto the track before the last race and blessed the forehead, eyes, ears and hooves of one of the horses. Mitchell bet every cent, and watched the horse come in dead last. Mitchell was dumbfounded. He made his way to the track and when he found the priest, he demanded, "What happened, Father? All day you blessed horses and they
won. The last race, you blessed a horse and he lost. Now I've lost my savings, thanks to you!!"

The priest nodded wisely and said, "That's the problem with you Protestants... you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and the last Rites."

Baseball in Heaven

2008-08-25T12:42:00.001+02:00

Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90's, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they're reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man's friend asks, "Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there's baseball in heaven."

The dying man said, "We've been friends for years, this I'll do for you." And then he dies. A couple days later, his surviving friend is sleeping when he hears his friend's voice. The voice says, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there's baseball in heaven."

"What's the bad news?"

"The bad news is that you're pitching on Wednesday."

Keep an Eye on Your Cousin

2008-08-25T12:40:00.000+02:00

"I thought I told you to keep an eye on your cousin," the mother said. "Where is he?"

"Well," her son replied thoughtfully, "if he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he's out canoeing. If he knows as little as I think he does, he's out swimming."

Olympic Blogs

2008-08-21T16:31:00.002+02:00

Few blogs about 2008 Olympics:

Elise's Olympic Journey

Carissa Gump, 2008 Olympian2

Dave Durante's Olympic Journey